This is Tough

We've waited two days now to write this blog as we needed to digest the situation a bit.

I was on my way out of town Friday morning and received an email from the doctor. Not good.

They did the latest ultrasound on Friday and the twins' heartbeats have disappeared. We received a digital image of the scan and it showed both still there, but their heartbeats have stopped. There is no explanation for this and the doctor said that it appears that this spontaneous miscarriage was a result of a chromosomal problem that can occur in 10% of IVF cases.

This really sucks. And we both feel a bit shocked and like something is missing.

But, C is trying to be the positive one and is saying that mother nature knows best and clearly if something wasn't right with the twins, it is better to know that now than to know that six months from now.

I'm going to talk to the doctor this week to understand next steps. I think we wait and in about a month they will try to implant some of the frozen embryos that remained.

To think that we're back to square one and that we have to go through all of the emotional waiting again is really tough. But alas. Looks like that's where we're at.

More to come when we know more.

8 weeks, 3 days?

Two months down. Seven more to go.

I think.

Just when I'm getting the hang of all of this and think that I understand the science and the process, some little factoid pops up that sends me back to Google trying to make sense of it all. I'm now confused.

Today we got an update from the doc and apparently all is good. He included the latest ultrasound (which looks like a big black and white blur to me) and a few stats:

1>there is a twin gestation.

2>the crown rump length of both twins is 0.41 cms corresponds to 6 w+6 days.

3>heart beat is present in both twins.

4>heart rate is between 150 to 170 bpm.

He said all is good and we just wait now for the next ultrasound (in 10-ish days) to see how much they grow.

So here's where I'm confused, and maybe somebody has the answer for me... The CRL corresponds to 6 weeks +6 days. The problem is that the implantation of the embryos took place on June 19. That was 8 weeks +3 days ago. That to me means that the twins are 1 week and a few days behind of where they should be right now. Right?

I called the doctor and spoke with him and he said that everything is fine and that we just wait for the report from the next ultrasound.

So confused...

But at least we don't have any bad news. So that's a very good thing.

Now we just wait.

I'm starting to think about when and how to tell work (assuming things continue to be positive) and am trying to make sense of how "maternity leave" is going to work for me given the situation. I'm hoping they will work something out with me since this isn't the most "traditional" way of going about it all :)

Keeping our fingers crossed. Still.

A 6 a.m. Surprise

We’ve been traveling the past week so apologies for not having updated the blog sooner. While we were driving through Mexico, we got an update that the yolk was detected in the ultrasound and that was a good next step. It appeared a few days later than normal, but the fact that it appeared was a good thing.

We were glad to hear that all was well, but not thrilled that everything was showing up a few days later than normal.

Oh wait, it gets better.

So we’ve been waiting for the full report to come back with a picture of the ultrasound. At 6 a.m. this morning, we received an email from Dr. Samit that put this entire “a few days late” scenario into context.

I’m going to share the exact note with you so that you can get the same impact that we did reading it:

Mr. E,

I think this will take you by surprise as it did us. You have TWINS.

Yes that is right.

There are two gestational sacs and heartbeat is present in both. However one sac appeared late and is smaller in size than the other one.

This is seen often in twin pregnancies, however as the pregnancy continues they will catch up with each other.

We still have to keep monitoring closely though. We will keep you abreast of the scene.

And that was our 6 a.m. note.

This, more than any other of the updates has really hit home and emotionally has gotten us excited. There is still a long road ahead though and we know that none of this is for sure and that we really can’t get too excited about any of this quite yet.

Crazy, huh?

Twins.