Sunday, August 29, 2010

This is Tough

We've waited two days now to write this blog as we needed to digest the situation a bit.

I was on my way out of town Friday morning and received an email from the doctor. Not good.

They did the latest ultrasound on Friday and the twins' heartbeats have disappeared. We received a digital image of the scan and it showed both still there, but their heartbeats have stopped. There is no explanation for this and the doctor said that it appears that this spontaneous miscarriage was a result of a chromosomal problem that can occur in 10% of IVF cases.

This really sucks. And we both feel a bit shocked and like something is missing.

But, C is trying to be the positive one and is saying that mother nature knows best and clearly if something wasn't right with the twins, it is better to know that now than to know that six months from now.

I'm going to talk to the doctor this week to understand next steps. I think we wait and in about a month they will try to implant some of the frozen embryos that remained.

To think that we're back to square one and that we have to go through all of the emotional waiting again is really tough. But alas. Looks like that's where we're at.

More to come when we know more.

1 comment:

  1. #JeffandkevinDC

    Such sad news. Sorry guys :(


    Our sympathies and condolences are with you.
    Let yourselves grieve your loss and reorganize to try again when you are ready.
    So sorry.


    I’m so truly sorry guys. I know how hard something like this is and there really is no easy answers or right or wrong way to feel. Sometimes couples deal with different emotions at different times which can be tough (at least that was what it was like for Brian and I).

    I think Edward said it best above, you will have your baby/babies.



    I am so sorry guys. This is hard and tough and horrible, but it is nature doing what she must do. That doesn’t make it any easier. Please be gentle with yourselves. (hugs)


    C and Meg are right, you can’t stand in the way of mother nature. But no matter how much we try to intellectualize a miscarriage it still hurts and you both want to make sure you are processing your grief properly. You guys are young and you will reach your goals eventually so long as you don’t get discouraged and give up.
    One thing though, if the clinic feels the issue was at the genetic level then – if it’s not too late – you may consider requesting some karyotyping be done on the expired fetuses to determine if the same issue may possibly exist in your frozen embryos. I hate to mention this to you when you are so vulnerable but you want to make sure your next attempt is occuring under optimal conditions.
    Take care


    I am so sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers go out to you guys for strength in the days to come.


    dear taj mababy, i have been following you since day one and after having my own losses after several tries, i have to admit i was surprised when your first beta reading was so low and really really happy for you when the results were positive. talk about surprise when i read you were having twins! now i am deeply sadden by this news. C is right though, Mother Nature rules and she knows best. As you can see, you have the wonderful world of surrogacy surrounding you with love and support. Take time to grief and then don’t give up. As I was told, if you read some of the blogs from the beginning of the people who have just had babies, you will see it’s a journey. keep posting.


    Hard swallow and some tears. We all want the best for you and for children entering this world. We want you to be able to parent and, unfortunately, this is part of the process. But there are possibilities because there is tomorrow. Breathe, more, and deeper, and know that the soul energy coming to you was not ready, yet, to be realized. As Jon said, there may be some reason that MNature took over, and so be it. Process your emotion and be clear to each other what the next steps are and may your choice be motivated by love. Hang in there.


    I am sorry to hear your loss. Be strong and don’t lose hope. I will pray for you both to give you strength through this tough times. xoxo Gemma


    I happened across your earlier posts and thought about how hard this time is for you two. I, like many others have been there. Hope you’re feeling better and best wishes with the next step. You’ll get there.